Bullying can bring fear and hopelessness into the life of an innocent child. Sadly, many caregivers and bystanders don't act when they see a child getting bullied on the playground or in their neighborhood. Such inaction can mean misery for children who are subjected to bullying on a regular basis. Years after the bullying has come to an end, people who were bullied as teenagers can result in having poorer self-esteem and higher levels of depression and suicide, than other adults.
If it seems like bullying is getting worst...it is. It seems to be happening at earlier ages and with more frequency and now add cyber bullying. While there is no place safe from bullying, there are areas where bullying is worse. Bullying can range from teasing, name calling, to stealing lunch money, to a group of students physically abusing a classmate, to a text message. Recent bullying statistics admit that more than half of all bullying incidents go unreported. Cyber bullying statistics indicate even less of these are reported.
Being a target is very stressful for children. Many children develop a strong dislike of going to school, especially times like recess or gym class. Many targets begin to distrust all their peers at school and have problems making friends. Extreme cases of bullying, youngsters can develop depression or physical illness.
The effects of bullying last beyond the teen years. Teens - especially boys - who bully are more likely to engage in such things as vandalism, shoplifting, absenteeism, and drug use into adulthood. They are four times more likely than teens who don't bully to be convicted of crimes by age 24, with 60% of bullies having at least one criminal conviction. Bullying can affect a teenager's self esteem and sexual relationships and can make a person depressed or suicidal.
Teen bullying can lead teenagers to feel tense, anxious, and afraid. It can affect their concentration in school, and can lead them to avoid school in some cases. If teen bullying continues for some time, it can begin to affect teens' self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. It also can increase their social isolation, leading them to become withdrawn and depressed, anxious and insecure. In extreme cases, bullying can be devastating for teens, with long-term consequences. Some teens feel compelled to take drastic measures, such as carrying weapons for protection or seeking violent revenge. Others, in desperation, even consider suicide. Researchers have found that years later, long after the bullying has stopped, adults who were bullied as teens have higher levels of depression and poorer self-esteem than other adults.
Hey, I am a Kid and I Just Want Answers...How Do I Deal with it...
Tell, tell, tell...was it mentioned...tell!! By talking about it you will realize how common bullying is and that there is clearly nothing wrong with you. Those that are bullies have an insecurity problem and find it difficult to express, so if they use bullying behavior it will deflect their internal pain...which it will not, but some have to find their own path. Being unique, different and independent are brave and admirable qualities that we should all possess. Even if you feel that you are just an ordinary individual...allow yourself time to grow into the person you would like to be. Be true to you, embrace who you are, love who you are, as you have qualities that are important to those around you. If you feel that you are alone and that you do not have anyone, give someone a chance. Yes, a lot of people will let you down in this life but you must allow someone in and if they disappoint you, try again with another, just allow yourself time to grow into that relationship that you are seeking...it is out there.
It is easily said "Do not allow anyone to make you feel bad, because in reality they are the ones who feel bad and just want others around them to feel as they do!" It is healthy sound advice, and you must take it to heart, seek positive healthy outlets to distract yourself from negativity, find what you enjoy, skateboarding, writing, music, cooking, animal care, jump rope, shoot hoops... you just might develop a craft and you will certainly feel so much better...try it!
Feel free to be assertive, when some hurts your feelings or threatens you...speak up LOUDLY, you tell them exactly what is on your mind. They do not care if they are hurting your feelings, so hey, share your thoughts with them as well! When you simply feel you just can not take another day of put downs, insults, jokes, rumors, lies and all the B.S that others keep doing...Absolutely speak up for yourself. Some will say and do things just to get a rise out of you, seriously not letting it bother you, is the best route to take because if they don't get a reaction all the fun is taken out of it, for them. Spreading lies to get back them, in your heart you know that is not right or a healthy solution, you will sink to their level and really, do you want to be on the same level as them? You will feel better inside and become proud that you remained true to who you are and did not start spreading negativity too.
The fighting thing: Yes, it must be said: Fighting is absolutely never, ever encouraged...but we all are to familiar with a situation that just cant be avoided! Seeking help from adults, distracting yourself in positive ways are all the best, most healthy and preferred methods of dealing with a bully, but...there is never anything wrong with defending yourself! Never instigate or start a fight. If you strongly feel that you are in a position that you just can't walk away from, don't hesitate, defend yourself.
If someone threatens to beat you up...ok then, set some ground rules: they want to fight they can do it in front of everyone, why wait until you are alone? Make it clear that you want others around so no one else jumps in, or uses weapons. Someone will get hurt, so it's best to have others around to get help. In most cases, an authority such as teachers or the police will be involved, having witnesses to explain why the fight occured will be beneficial. Yes, the odds are when fighting you may get hurt, you must be prepared for that and all of the consequences that will follow...but there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself or others!
~submitted by a former student, who positively overcame bullying!
Girls most often bully other girls using more subtle, indirect forms of aggression. For example, girls are more likely to spread gossip, start rumors or encourage others to reject or exclude another girl.
Boys tend to resort to physical and aggressive behavior, such as spitting, hitting and grabbing personal property.
*Stats and Facts:
Over half of all bullying incidents go unreported.
90% of 4th - 8th graders report being targets of bullying.
39% of middle schoolers and 36% of high schoolers say they do not feel safe at school.
32% of parents fear for their child’s physical safety when their child is at school.
39% of parents with a child in grade six or higher are more likely to say they fear for their child’s safety.
32% of parents whose children are in grade five or lower fear for their child’s safety.
Over 77% of students are bullied mentally, verbally, & physically.
Every 7 minutes a child is bullied on a school playground with over 85% of those instances occurring without any intervention.
On a monthly average 282,000 students are physically attacked by a bully each month.
Cyber Statistics: Over 50% of youngsters have been bullied online. More than 1 in 3 have been threatened online.
Over 50% of youngsters do not tell their parents when cyber bullying occurs.
1 in 10 children have had embarrassing or damaging pictures taken of themselves without their permission, often using cell phone cameras.
School bullying and cyber bullying statistics are increasingly viewed as an important contributor to youth violence, including homicide and suicide.
Harassment and Bullying have been linked to 85% of school-shooting incidents. Cases as Colombine H.S and V-Tech schools, bullying was a contributing factor.
On a monthly average 282,000 students are physically attacked by a bully each month.
2009 surveys showed over 100,000 children carried guns to school as a result of being bullied
28% of students who carry weapons in school have witnessed violence in their homes
A child commits suicide as a direct result of being bullied once every half hour with 19,000 bullied children attempting to commit suicide over the course of one year.
On a daily average 160,000 children miss school because they fear they will be bullied if they attend classes.
3 out of 4 students report that they have been bullied at some time while they were in school.
Bullying and Negative Behavior is something we can end...We must all commit to not particpate in or tolerate negativity, stand up for those need and take responsibility for our own actions. We should never tolerate, dismiss or ignore negative behavior.
Bullies can come in all different shapes, sizes and backgrounds. If someone decides to bully, it will become a habit that is difficult to change. It is a disturbing but understandable fact that some students look up to bullies in some way as they seem to have so power and control. Bullies are unlike other children. By a certain age, most children have learned to control their rage and fighting, but not some bullies, they have different characteristics. They seem to want to control everyone and everything, have greater than average aggression patterns, no sense of remorse for hurting a peer and a refusal to accept responsibility for their actions, making the schools years difficult for most and ultimately entering society becoming co-workers, teachers or worse a parent!
So let's work together to knockout bullying and encourage positive healthy behavior towards one another!
BULLYING...We're Kickin' It
In the next 7 minutes, a child in the U.S. will be bullied. It may be a child of someone you know... it may be your own child! Statistically, only four in 100 adults will intervene, only 11% of the child’s peers might do to same...and the other 85% — will do nothing!!
Guardians of children must take an active role in the child's life, constantly monitoring their behavior and asking the hard questions.
• Is there a change in your child's grades?
• Is your child losing friends or have they changed the crowd they hang out with?
• Is your child staying by themselves, seem withdrawn or depressed?
• Is your child becoming more emotional, cry easily?
• Does your child have a low self esteem, lack of confidence?
• Does your child seem uncomfortable, reluctant or have fear when getting ready for school?
• Does your child have personal items or money missing?
What Should Guardians Do?
Guardians are a safe place for youngsters turn to, always be a support system for your children.
• Open a dialog, simply ask your child if he or she is being bullied at school.
• Create a tighter bond with your child, so they feel safe to express all emotions.
• Be aware of your own behavior and aggression.
• Provide good examples of conflict resolution, without threats, yelling or name calling.
• Encourage independence in your child.
• Take action quickly, do not dismiss your child if they express uncomfortable feelings.
• Make it clear that you will not tolerate bullying behavior.
• Form a positive relationship with your child's school, as they too want a safe school climate.
• Never insult, criticize or poke fun of your child, even as a joke.
• Always make it clear that it is not their fault, why they are being targeted.
Guardians should also be on alert for signs showing that your child is a bully. Bullying behavior can be a precursor to problems later in life, especially criminal activity. It can also affect future professional and personal relationships. It is important that children learn to express themselves in healthy, socially acceptable ways, bullying is not something that society should or will tolerate. Children who bully may:
• View violence positively as a solution to most problems.
• Have a lack of respect or show aggression toward children as well as adults.
• Need to dominate and control others, always be 'right' in a situation.
• Become easily frustrated.
• Laughs or shows little sympathy, especially towards others who are being bullied.
It can be a good idea to talk to your child’s school authorities, as well as a child counselor or pediatrician to figure out a plan. Bullies need to learn why they behave the way they do and what they can change so that they are showing more acceptable behaviors.
Guardians and other adults can play an important roll in the reduction of bullying. It is important to notice what is going on with children and watch for signs if a child is participating in, observing or a target of bullying behavior. In any case, it is crucial that adults display harmonious resolutions, positive respectful behavior at all times, especially in the presence of children.
Whether your child is being bullied or creating a negative environment for others...it is nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of, we all have experienced negativity in one form or another, that is why there are so many resources out there, so adults need to talk about negative situations and work together to create a positive society.
When a child hurts themselves, everyone is affected, family members, friends, teammates, neighbors and sometimes even those who didn't know the child well might experience feelings of grief, confusion, guilt — often leaving those with the question that if only they had done something differently, could it have been prevented. We all must be aware of our actions and do the best we can to be supportive, approachable and a positive influence on those around us.
Bullying takes many forms, ranging from the seemingly innocuous name-calling to the more harmful cyberbullying to severe physical violence.
It happens everywhere, at all times to some of the most vulnerable, gentlest souls.
It Doesn't Only happen to a select few labeled as obese, gay or having a disability... Anyone at Anytime can be on the receiving end of negative behavior!